I apologize for the incoherence of this entry. I just need some place to spew out random thoughts to the world. Feel free to read it or ignore it, as you choose.

Perhaps I’m starting to recover from shock now. Perhaps. I keep finding myself being mild-mannered and polite to everyone. Of course, that’s a nice thing to do all the time, but what’s the point? If people don’t know that I’m upset, then they can’t help me. I can continue to act as though I were the most boring person on the planet. Actually, I probably am the most boring person on the planet. All I do is go to classes and prepare for going to classes and go to Hillel for services on Friday night and Tuesday morning. I never really do anything else. I want to go to a silent place and read Godel, Escher, Bach cover to cover and do nothing else until I finish. Then I will learn something. I am, as Dr. Feigin put it, letting UCSB get in the way of my education.


About Simon

Hi. I'm Simon Rubinstein-Salzedo. I'm a mathematics postdoc at Dartmouth College. I'm also a musician; I play piano and cello, and I also sometimes compose music and study musicology. I also like to play chess and write calligraphy. This blog is a catalogue of some of my thoughts. I write them down so that I understand them better. But sometimes other people find them interesting as well, so I happily share them with my small corner of the world.
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12 Responses to

  1. gompers says:

    i live a very similar lifestyle. very unfortunate.

  2. eternalfight says:

    you know you could coast through a normal undergraduate math education and easily beat the snot out of everyone in all your classes. it takes a kind of strength to strive for a life of achievement — what you’re choosing — rather than one of leisure, which is what too many of your peers at ucsb aim for. you should be proud of your amazing talent.
    i’ve sort of felt antsy like that too before. often times all i needed was some fresh air and exercise or something. “sometimes you have to choose reflexes over reflection,” in other words.

  3. what you describe as making you boring is actually what makes you differant and therefore intersting. congrats.

    • Simon says:

      Why do you say that?

      • you were saying in terms of why you think your a boring person are rare traits in college kids, especially ucsb. its interesting and refreshing to hear about someone going against the grain of wasting time and screwing around. i like reading your journal (i dont actually check livejournal that often ,and i dont think you post that often) but when i happen to come across a new entry from you i am compelled to read it because its differant then everyone else and therefore interesting and in my opinion, not boring. its a good thing.

  4. deviantq says:

    I must disagree with the boring part. You are one of the most interesting people I know. The level of classes you are taking, combined with your drive to learn—the two of which don’t always work well together, as I surely know—make you so much better than everyone else. Those kids making out in front of the library at lunch are boring (referring to my school); you are not.
    You do plenty of really, really cool things. Just remember that you’re learning, and I think for both of us that’s a very important thing. Perhaps not the most important, and certainly not the only thing we can have in life. But it’s really cool.
    I agree about reading. I so want to read that book, too. Ah well… one day, I will read again X___X.
    What’s interesting is that for one so against letting school get in the way of learning (in high school), you certainly seem to be in a different situation in college. *Shrug*. I mean, not that I’m suggesting ignoring/failing/doing badly in some classes, but maybe cutting back your curricular workload so you can do some extracurricular work too?

    • Simon says:

      You’re right. I know I should cut back on my workload so that I have time to learn something, but I can’t actually do it. I can’t resist the potential to learn something, and I’m so impatient that I can’t wait a year or two until the same class will be offered again. That’s my biggest weakness, I think. It could be worse.

      • deviantq says:

        Then… prioritize what you want to learn? How do the contents of GEB compare with whatever class you’re least interested in? *Shrug*. Easier said than done, certainly.
        And yes, it could definitely be worse. Given your previous adventures, I think the “biggest weaknesses” of most UCSB students are not nearly as special as yours.

  5. intrepia says:

    I think that maybe I can relate to this a little, although not in the same sense that you mean it… we both want time for our nonscholastic academic interests, but are compelled to wait for that time to come in the future because school is (approximately) taking over the world presently.
    And… you aren’t boring; you’re focused and dedicated. There’s a difference.

  6. banginartist says:

    Maybe some rock music?
    You listen to that classical err…stuff too much.

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